


Spudnik-Part One

by Seth_Alden



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Original Fiction, Potatoes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-15 06:53:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21249239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seth_Alden/pseuds/Seth_Alden
Summary: Big huge disclaimer right up front: Hi, hello, yes, I have no idea what I'm doing aside from copying what I've written in a word doc and slapping it in here. This. Will be a learning experience.Welcome to a series of one offs, smaller story arcs, tidbits, expositions, and other fun little lore bits not yet explored in @Kerosyn_ 's universe. For those familiar with it so far you might be confused as to how this all fits in. What I am currently working on takes place waaaaaay far in the future from where the official material is currently at. My goal is to keep interest going while taking a stab at conceptualizing future content that's planned but not quite ready for anything big like what's already been done.Any feedback regarding literally everything is much appreciated. The majority of my experience writing is in the form of scientific reports/journals. Creative writing is, at best, a hobby, and any feedback will help greatly in becoming more acquainted with using this site and bringing the rest of the universe to light.





	Spudnik-Part One

**Author's Note:**

> Big huge disclaimer right up front: Hi, hello, yes, I have no idea what I'm doing aside from copying what I've written in a word doc and slapping it in here. This. Will be a learning experience. 
> 
> Welcome to a series of one offs, smaller story arcs, tidbits, expositions, and other fun little lore bits not yet explored in @Kerosyn_ 's universe. For those familiar with it so far you might be confused as to how this all fits in. What I am currently working on takes place waaaaaay far in the future from where the official material is currently at. My goal is to keep interest going while taking a stab at conceptualizing future content that's planned but not quite ready for anything big like what's already been done. 
> 
> Any feedback regarding literally everything is much appreciated. The majority of my experience writing is in the form of scientific reports/journals. Creative writing is, at best, a hobby, and any feedback will help greatly in becoming more acquainted with using this site and bringing the rest of the universe to light.

<<How is the assembly progressing Seth?>>  


I look down at my phone. I don’t have to even look to see who the message’s from. Damien would be the only one to send a text that formal.  
  
<<fine itd go faster if i had more help>>  


We’re in the last stage of the academy’s RoboRiot competition before the carnage starts. Students team up to design,build, and then submit their creations to a death match all in the name of having good fun and watching a bunch of mindless machines slaughter each other. Or run into a wall over and over like a desperate mouse does when it can’t quite reach its cheese.

<<Would you like me to come assist?>>

<<no>>

Escorting anyone, even with clearance, into the Inner Sanctum at this hour would be wasting my time. Though Damien is more than cleared to just walk right on in it would be a waste of a trip over. By the time he’d enter Concordia’s outer walls I could have this all done and over with. That and I really don’t want anyone asking why I’m up this late playing with a potato all alone in a lab.

<<Are you sure?>>

<<yes damien im fine go to bed>>

A notification pops up on my tablet. Looks like the simulation is done with modifying the piece de resistance. 587mW: The number appears flashing bright blue in the output window. I look back down at the scratch pad on my drafting table to recheck the number. 587mw. The output of this infrared laser used in high precision cutting down in engineering, now with an “improved” focusing lens to squeeze a bit more juice out of it. How this won’t cook the potato after a blink of usage is beyond me.

“Let’s see what you can do now”.

I hastily grab the round, oversized button looking device, leaving its wires haphazardly sway off it, waiting for them to get snagged on my gloves, kick off the side of the desk, and wheel my way over to the forging bench behind. As I’m breezing across I grab the Russet potato sitting on a plate at the edge of the workspace while using my foot to clear the edge before I slam into it. Actually, having an excuse to drop the potato to test its durability would be fine but I don’t feel like sneaking down to the kitchen to, uh, borrow another. They might notice after the eighth potato has gone missing.

I take the two components and place them down a raised metal segment of the work bench already occupied by the remaining parts: A four inch long built in RAM and SSD housing unit, a small CPU chip loaded preloaded with a custom and very much still in beta AI, the surgically removed base to some cheap RC toy spider that kids love so much these days, and the optical interface. I begin carefully soldering what needs to be together. Optical port on top of the memory housing, then to carefully wedge it into the top of the potato. Then to mount the CPU on its left side, centered. I carefully fumble the power cables from each and thread them into the right ends with a pair of needle nose pliers. Then to screw in the laser to the face of it and wire it up. And there we have it. I slide back a bit from the table to move a few magnifying lenses over the bench to inspect the cable management. Looking pretty fine. I retract the lenses back and ever so gently raise the franken-potato off the table with one hand, reaching for its base with the other.

_BANG BANG BANG _

My grip slips and I toss aside the base to free my hand in time to secure the potato. Doing so has snagged a wire, but that can be fixed compared to having to replace an entire potato that can’t even be cooked afterwards. I take a breath to recompose myself before getting up. I press a few buttons on my tablet to show the door camera’s feed. I’m met with the face of last person I was expecting to see. A petite, rather depraved looking girl stares with a small grin back into the camera. I press a few keys on the pad by the door and slide into the frame as it opens, quickly leaning into the open end and kicking up my right leg to block further passage.

“You know if we keep meeting like this someone’s going to start talking”, I smirk as saying it trying not to laugh at how much smoother it sounded in my head.

“They already do, now let me in. I’m hungry after the ride over” She pushes into my leg practically with all her force, yet I yield anyways. No need to start a fuss at this hour. She quickly proceeds in the direction of the bench.

“Why are you even here? _How_ are you even here? I told Damien I didn’t need help.”

She takes my seat at the desk, leaning down to open the small fridge in its base without looking away from me, pulling out a crisp apple from my midnight snack stash.

“I was already coming over, my parents won’t care that I’m gone anyways.” She takes a comically large bite out of the apple.

“Oh and Marcus saw me come through the outer gates and your father just escorted me in since he was getting off. He’s not going to be happy knowing you’re up this late again.”

Right. I forgot Marcus got an internship here being a sentry. By now my parents should know I stay up late actually enjoying myself so it shouldn’t be a surprise, but I know I’ll wake up to one of them lecturing me. One ear out the other. I move back to the bench, sitting down in the chair next to her, practically pushing her half way out of it.

“Hey is this it? Our bot for the comp?” She put the apple down next to the soldering gun and picked the potato from underneath with her tiny bony hands.

“Yeah that’s it. Almost wasn’t going to be for a second there with you doing all that banging. Really scared me there. Coulda ended it all startling me like that.”

“Looks like it lived to me.”  


“And now that you’re here Nathalie you can help me instead of raiding my food supply” I take the potato away from her and give her the base.

“What do you need me to do with this?”  


“Just hold it in place and make sure the legs don’t buckle or move while I place the main piece on”  
  
I grab the potato with both hands, spacing out my fingers to give as much support to keep it from moving. Nathalie in return positions the base erect, using her fingers to push the legs outward to keep them from moving. I then let slowly ease the potato down into the shaft on the base, letting the hole it the potato’s underside lightly ease its way onto its remaining half to avoid crushing the potato from the bottom out. As it begins to resist being pushed further on she beings to loosen her grip; the creation’s base shifts a bit due to its added weight, but refuses to fall over.

“Ok now grab the black wire on its right. I’m going to grab this here red one. We’re going to have to connect them to the prongs on the underside of the base where they meet with the shaft at the same time.”

“What happens if I miss the timing?”

“Nothing it will just look cooler if we do it at the same time”

I get this miffed glare out of the corner of my eyes.

We both connect the wires. I tilt the bot on its sides and tighten the ends into place. With that our, and by our I mean mostly my, hours of programing, designing and hard labor come to a close. A joke of a concept brought to life solely to fight to the death and probably die before it can even get a chance.

“And with that, we have our gladiator, ready to give its all to uphold its honor and family name”

Nathalie lets out a short laugh.

“Oh I don’t know about that, but it is kinda cute. Shame to see this little fella get blown to bits”

I flip the power switch on the CPU chip. The base begins to lift its weighty body off the bench. The optical lens’ indicator glows. A faint chirp from the chip signals the AI has fully booted. The potato spins on its base gradually, looking around, taking in its first sights of our world.  
  
“Welcome to the world of the living, my son” I stretch my arms outwards like some benevolent creator. The potato tilts slightly mimicking confusion.

“Wait what name did we agree on again?” Nathalie looks down at it, practically staring down the laser.

“Hey, hey! Shit! Don’t” I grab her shoulders and pull her up and away before I can see if the AI can decide if the squishy flesh being is on its list of “acceptable things to shoot at”. “That’s not its eye, that’s the laser”

Unfazed at the prospect of a painful and miserable death she leans back in.

“Aw I don’t think it’ll hurt me, huh you little cutie. Now what am I going to call you?”

She grabs the whole thing and lifts it up into the air, holding it out like a baby wanting attention”

“I don’t know about you but I have a name. You’re not going to like it.”

Natalie cuts me another one of her glances. “Oh really. Then what do you have in mind?”

The potato bot then turns and looks in the direction of my voice. I start smiling wildly, hardly able to contain myself”

“Spudnik”


End file.
